Reflections on the past year

It has been a year since I began writing this weekly column for the Highlands Today and I believe that I have covered a wide range of topics including: carpet cleaning, road rage, raising children, nursing school, canned cheeseburgers, the Sebring races, and many more. I thought I’d celebrate this milestone with a moment of reflection.

At this time last year, I was about three months into my first year of nursing school. Aside from endless studying, all I had accomplished in the clinical setting was the administration of four flu shots at the VFW and taking blood pressure at a health fair.

Blood pressure is a funny thing because, when you first learn how to do it, you feel like you are listening for some vague sounds that do not really exist. I remember several incidents when I repositioned or reinflated the cuff a few times before I halfway trusted myself to write down a reading.

I must say, the general population is really quite tolerant when it comes to allowing a fumbling student the privilege of using them for practice. For that, I thank the fine people of Highlands County and I’m glad I never seriously harmed any of you.

My daughter was thoroughly enjoying pre-K at Faith Child Development Center last November. She has come a long way in a year’s time with her behavior, as well as her speech impediment that doesn’t seem to faze her one bit. Sometimes I wonder if her speech has improved at all or if she has just brainwashed all of us into bending to her will in understanding her unique language.

My son was and still is in the HARRT program at Woodlawn Elementary where he spends his days making jokes and charming the girls. It is scary how fast he’s growing up and I can now see in his face a shadow of the man he will be one day. I’m just hoping he can start controlling his constant release of gas and maybe try to restrict it to the bathroom.

My husband is still taking classes and supporting the family. I don’t think either of us could have ever imagined how broke we would be, but he is getting us by and paying all the necessities. Even though we’ve been together a long time, I still find new things to love about him. When I finish school in June and stand on the stage while he places the pin on my shirt symbolically declaring me to be a nurse, I know that this difficult time will have been worth it.

There were lots of ups and downs over the past year too. The highest point was finishing that first year and having a few weeks to spend with the kids before the fall semester began. The lowest point was the loss of a family friend, Steve. Words could never do justice to describe how sad we were with his passing. If anything, it reinforces the importance of telling the people in our lives how much they truly mean to us.

As for the house, we have had an increase in size of the sandy patches in our yard and our dog has found new things to bark at like squirrels and birds and slight changes in the wind.  Our air-conditioning system is living on borrowed time and our carpet isn’t worth cleaning anymore, but we’re happy and never stop looking towards the bright future we know awaits us. In the meantime, we’ll enjoy the present.

Life in the slow lane

Since the onset of my medical issues last month and my “professionally advised restriction” concerning the operation of a vehicle, I have not been behind the wheel of a car for 31 days. It’s like I’m 16-years old all over again and being driven around by my friends (Karen in particular).

My mom jokingly reminded me that, back when I was a teenager, I declared to her that I did not need to learn how to drive because I was going to have a personal chauffer once I made all my money. I had big dreams back then, but my current reality is a poor representation of the fantastical plans I had developed.

What I miss most is the alone-time I enjoyed after I dropped the kids off at school in the morning. I’d crank up my music and imagine I was a racecar driver speeding along the back roads on my way to class. I loved to experiment with the maximal borderline-safe speed with which I could take a ninety degree corner while mentally noting where the “decoy” police car would be parked that week so I wouldn’t have to alter my bad behavior.

My husband would occasionally comment about my average miles per gallon and how they could be so much higher if only I’d release my lead foot from the gas pedal. That’s the thing about newer vehicles: they rat you out with their digital memories that can be easily displayed and viewed with the push of a tiny button.

He’d also comment on the condition of our tires and wonder why we went through 4 sets in five years. In my defense, they were really lousy tires, but thanks to the warranty, we didn’t have to fork over too much money to replace them.

There’s freedom in driving. The roads, streets, highways, and Interstates are connected like the body’s blood vessels and they cry out for me to navigate their meandering paths.

When I was a kid traveling back and forth across Florida with my parents on Highways 98 or 60, I’d see little roads that trailed off into the woods and think, “One day, when I can drive, I’m going to come back here and go down that road.” Sure I was disappointed to later find out that nothing special was really on those roads, but I solved the mystery anyway.

I remember taking a trip with my mom, sister, and grandparents to North Florida for the Respress family reunion and taking a picture of a sign that declared we were entering Alabama. I had officially been out of the state and no one sent the authorities after me. Little did I know then that, one day, I would live on the other side of the country.

I still find it incredible that I can hypothetically pull out of my driveway in the morning and (provided I have the financial backing) go just about anywhere in this hemisphere of the world: the beach, Seattle, New York, the Grand Canyon, Niagra Falls, or just Frostproof to visit relatives.

For crying out loud, I even miss having road rage! It just isn’t the same when I’m the passenger because my heart isn’t in it.

Still, I’m not bitter about my predicament at all. In fact, when I get the green light to drive again, I think I’ll fully appreciate the entire spectrum of the driving experience. It really is true what they say: absence makes the heart grow fonder.

How to lose any election

Last week, several of my classmates and I had the honor of attending the Florida Nursing Students Association (FNSA) annual convention in Daytona. I served as a Delegate which means I had to be present at the business meetings.

For some reason, I was talked into running for a spot as Corresponding Secretary on the FNSA board. I had one person as my competition and erroneously felt that I had a 50/50 shot at victory. That’s when it occurred to me that I was making a big decision and I did not bother to run it by my husband! I couldn’t back out, but I was terrified that I’d win while wanting nothing more than to win. Lucky for me, I didn’t.

Following are several tips on how to effectively lose an election:

1). Enter the race late.

The serious candidates who took the time to mull over a run for office were pre-slated a month ago. When I threw my hat in the ring, I had 6 hours to prepare for the meet-and-greet Friday evening. Voting was Saturday at 7 am.

2). Do little to no campaigning.

I spent an hour or so throwing together a Power Point presentation on my laptop. It was nice and professional, but the title was “Why Me?” which, perhaps, did not reveal the level of enthusiasm I was feeling at the time.

I also wanted to print handouts, but the free hotel printer was not working when I attempted to print them. After experiencing a small “fit” of frustration, my instructor escorted me to the “not free” business center where we had to pay $7 to obtain the handouts. Then we went to dinner. I did not campaign at all until the candidate presentations began at 7 pm.

3). Disagree with a current board member.

After I set up my laptop to loop the Power Point, a board member asked where my poster was. I told her I did not need a poster because I had a laptop. She said I did. I said, “Where does it say in the bylaws that I need to have a poster?” When she found a handbook, it turned out that the poster was “suggested” and not “necessary.” Score one for me at my expense.

4). Lack a clear understanding of the position desired.

Imagine my disappointment when I learned that my idea to revamp the website and Facebook page were outside the parameters of Corresponding Secretary. I could have sworn I read it somewhere, but when it was pointed out in the handbook that this was not so, I lost a little credibility.

5). Abandon your prewritten speech.

I’m not sure what happened when I got onstage in front of all those people, but I do know that I did not trust my ability to read my prepared speech. I made a joke about not falling on the way up the stairs and then sounded desperate for 45 seconds. Everyone said it was a good speech, but I could see the lie in their eyes.

6). Talk up your opponent.

My competition was a very nice person and I did not hesitate to tell people this. I’d like to think that I was her “pseudo-campaign manager” and that she won, in part, due to my influence.

That is how I lost my shot at the FNSA Corresponding Secretary position. I did sign up for the communications committee which assists with website and social media outreach. In the end, I feel like I won.

Some cheap brands don't cut it

Since my family has been on a budget, we’ve been doing our grocery shopping around town at a few discount stores. At first, it was weird buying the off-brands, foreign-brands, and questionably legal brands that are sold at these locations, but like any necessity, we’re adjusting.

For years I told my husband that I refused to eat cereal out of a bag because it reminded me too much of dog food bags; though, much smaller and easier to open. At this very moment, there is a humongous bag of cereal in our pantry that is quite tasty, but it is making a liar out of me. Chips are exempt from the bag prejudice because, unless you have a tube of Pringles, they all come in bags.

I must say that I have been pleasantly surprised to discover that most all of the products we now purchase are equal to, if not better than, our brand name originals. Having said that, there are two exceptions to this revelation: certain types of chips and dish soap.

The original Doritos Nacho Cheese Flavored Tortilla Chips are unmatched by any imposter brand. I’m so devoted to this particular Dorito taste that I don’t even like their alternative products and consider all of their flavor experiments to be epic fails. This list includes, but is not limited to Pizza Supreme, Spicy Sweet Chili, Cheese Burger, and my least favorite, Cool Ranch. I just cannot comprehend why Frito Lay would tamper with something that is the perfect combination of flavor Heaven.

Frito Lay has cornered the market on all my chip needs by also producing their Classic chip, Ruffles, Cheddar and Sour Cream Potato Chips, and Scoops which are unmatched when it comes to cradling chili con queso dip.

Discount chips simply do not cut the mustard when it comes to palatability. The plain chips are too salty and their take on nacho cheese tortilla chips is laughable at best. There exists in those off-brands a sweet, alien flavor that leaves an unfulfilling residue on your tongue and finger tips. Whatever Frito Lay is doing, they have one loyal customer who would rather go without than settle for a reduced copy.

Dish soap is a mix of chemicals that I had mistakenly thought was readily available to anyone who wanted to make the concoction. There are several major brands I’ll purchase depending what is on sale, but last week we paid about a dollar for a 2 liter-sized (exaggeration) container of bubbly degreaser. The problem being, it is neither bubbly nor a degreaser.

To get the suds, it requires about 1/8 cup of liquid to make any noticeable difference in the dish water outside of tinting it the color blue which does nothing to clean cutlery. I tried washing a pan that had earlier been used to cook bacon only to smear artistic circular ridges on the bottom.

I come from a frame of mind that figures more has got to be better so, after squirting the dyed gel directly onto the pan, I tried again. There still remained a greasy film. I pondered the low cost of the huge jug compared with the higher-priced brands and figured that I’m getting my money’s worth sticking with the well-known products.

Before I started school and catapulted our family into financial ruin, I always thought we were being frugal. I now know how erroneous my thinking was at that time. Still, I think I’ll splurge on those two particular items.