It is always free to be a critic

The family had quite an active few days this past week with our trip to the Orlando area in celebration of my daughter’s 7^th birthday and the Toyota Pros banquet to honor my husband’s hard work. I’ll probably write a few articles about this whirlwind adventure, but for now, I’m going to talk about hotels.

I’m always excited about staying at a hotel because you never know what kind of experience you’re going to have. You may find all the comforts of home; a luxurious, relaxing atmosphere; or you may have to change rooms like my husband, Chris, and I did at a major Las Vegas resort.

This past Sunday, after visiting Disney World, we stayed at the Nickelodeon Suites Resort because they had a water park area that seemed like it would keep both children occupied until we had to leave the next afternoon.

The kids fell in love immediately. Spongebob Squarepants decorated their bedroom wall and we had our own private room. The entire suite boasted three televisions. Their big draw was, of course, the pool and water slides. We had to force them upstairs and tuck them into bed, but my daughter woke us bright and early the next morning to go back in the pool.

Our opinion of the suite was not overly impressed, but not disgusted. I almost ripped off my fake fingernail tips about five times trying to open the mini fridge and the view out of the window was the parking lot, but that wasn’t a huge problem. My main issue was the walk to the elevator. Apparently, our building was located in a central location between the elevators and stairs so either direction was a cumbersome trek. This became ironic later.

On Monday, we were all able to experience the poolside shows in which Chris and my daughter were both picked as contestants to participate. My husband got slimed a few times which was extremely funny to me.

We left around two and headed to Disney’s Grand Floridian which is a beautiful, elegant place to stay for anyone dropping 500 bucks a night. I’m so glad we didn’t have to pay for it.

As soon as we walked in, the kids said, “This is boring.” Yes. It was boring to them. Our room had two queen beds and one television. It was tortuous.

I had complained about walking previously. Let me tell you how much walking I did at the Grand Floridian! Okay, I don’t really know, but it was a lot, trust me, because everything is far away. On the upside, the weather was so beautiful it was as if Walt Disney himself had manufactured it.

On the downside, their beds were weird and the pillows were too thick. When you got in, the sheets were tucked in so tight, you felt like that wide bread being shoved into a regular sandwich bag and, as Chris said, your head was elevated like you’re on a luge heading down a slope. He tried to dig out a space in the middle of the pillow while I tried to sleep on the edge of it hoping I wouldn’t injure my cervical spine.

Also, they had the worst toilets ever. They were the kind with the metal buttons on the lid. I loathe a toilet that takes more than one flush for even the simplest of loads: annoying water wasters.

Free is still free. I’d go in an outhouse if someone paid for my food. I may want to take a peek at the menu first.