When I was accepted into the nursing
program, I appealed to a local hospital for financial assistance. They agreed
to help on the condition I sign a contract to work for them upon completion of
my degree which I was more than happy to do.
I erroneously believed that I could
just knock on the door of the Human Resource Director the day after my pinning
ceremony and say, “Hey there! Remember me? I’m all done and ready to start
working that job we discussed two years ago.”
This is, in fact, not the way things
are going to happen at all.
As it turns out, I have to interview
in front of a panel. I found this out the other day when a very friendly
representative called me to deliver this distressing news.
I instantly felt all of the blood
drain from my face. “Oh! So I get to interview! That’s wonderful!” I was saying
this in the most unconvincing, high-pitched voice imaginable.
I don’t want to sound like I think
interviews are similar to invasive exams a doctor performs with the curtain
closed. In fact, they didn’t used to bother me at all. It’s just that I have
not been interviewed for ten years and never by more than one person at a time.
I was obviously hired off that last
interview, but the two I had before that one did not turn out so well.
One was an attorney who seemed to
like me well enough, but he felt the other candidate was slightly more
qualified. I knew he was making a big mistake because I was absolutely the best
person for the job. He objected and I withdrew.
The interview before that was the
worst interview of my life. It was for a position outside of my experience so I
turned in a resume not really expecting to hear anything back. When I got the
call to come interview, I was excited at the prospect of possibly getting this
unattainable job.
When I went in, the man immediately
reminded me of my dad. I turned into a five-year old kid who got caught
stretching the truth and every question he asked me sounded like a complicated
quadratic equation that I had to solve.
Even the easiest question stumped me:
“You say you enjoy reading, even biographies. Tell me a book you’ve read about
a person that you admire.”
I’ve read so many books in my life.
I’ve read about civil rights leaders and presidents and great historical
figures. For some reason, at that moment, I could not recall a single book I
had read except the one I just finished. I blurted out, “Butch Cassidy and the
Sundance Kid!” Robbers and thieves: that’s who I admired.
He ended the interview by telling me
that I wasn’t really qualified for the position, but I had written such an
impressive resume that he wanted to meet the person who wrote it. I’m willing
to bet that, to this day, he believes someone wrote it for me.
Next week, when I’m on display in
the pressure cooker, my only hope is that my brain will communicate with my
mouth. My resume is done. For the record, I did write it all by myself.
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