Out with the old carpet

The day has finally arrived! After seven years, thousands of footfalls, and a myriad of spills and stains, we are getting new carpet!

Okay, in the whole scheme of things like politics, world peace, and overall human suffering, this is very minor, but for my husband, Chris, and me, it is like we are getting an upgrade on our home.

Goodbye, red Gatorade stain. See you later, coffee splatters! No more worries about you, mysterious black spots that were here before we bought this house.

When we first moved into our place, we had huge ideas about things we wanted to do in each room. Carpet has always been on the list, but it kept getting pushed aside because it seemed that something more pressing would pop up that needed our attention.

Let me tell you the real reason that no one likes to mess with flooring, and I know this because we are experiencing it right now: you essentially have to completely move out of your house and then move back into your house over the span of a couple days.

This is a huge pain in the backside considering we have accumulated seven years worth of junk crammed into closets and under beds.

It isn’t like I haven’t purged things over this time period, but during the last three years while I was in school, our house has experienced an excess in build-up with minimal purging efforts.

What we need to do is have a huge yard sale. I started to make a pile in the shed last year. That pile is still waiting for the sale that is stuck in the future because the only thing I loathe more than sorting through all our belongings is having people pick through them in my carport only to make outlandishly low offers that I grudgingly accept just to get rid of both the item and the person.

It is a bit fun going through our old things. I made a conscious decision to part with a pair of paisley pants that don’t fit.

For a while, I flirted with the idea that they will fit me again one day, but I seriously pondered whether or not it would be a good idea to wear them when they do, so I decided against keeping them around.

I also tossed a couple things that have been broken for a long time and I’ve never fixed them even though I really thought I was going to get out the Super Glue and try. Evidently, it wasn’t that important and I never missed the objects around the house.

Out of all my shoes, I was only able to toss a couple pair because, let’s face it, I wear size 11 and I can’t go around taking a pair of shoes for granted. I need my shoes.

Tomorrow is the big day, so tonight Chris and I get to hurt our backs and lug our furniture into the carport. If anytime in our marriage is vulnerable, it is when we are moving heavy objects together.

The main problem is that I don’t like to do it and he thinks I possess an understanding of depth and width concerning door openings and irregularly-shaped objects.

If we can get through this evening, we can conquer anything.

By this weekend, I’ll be pampering my feet on new threads and yelling at the kids to take off their shoes at the door. Let the new reign of terror begin!