On Wednesday, June 15, something wonderful is going to happen at South Florida Community College: a new crop of Registered Nurses will be getting pinned. I’m excited because my sister, Meredith Eastham, as well as some friends, like Amy Wuthrich, will be included in this prestigious group.
I know myself well enough to prepare for this ceremony by bringing a plentiful supply of tissues (me being the absolute cry baby that I am).
I just filled my purse with tissues this past Wednesday because my daughter was “graduating” Pre-K and I knew, as soon as I saw her in that miniature cap and gown, the waterworks would commence, but my angel spared me any emotional embarrassment when she got onstage and began repeatedly smacking a little boy in the face until my husband finally made her stop. It is hard to cry when you see your child acting like a little bully.
This brings me to a topic that seems to be the open secret of the nursing world: lateral violence. It can take many forms including verbal or physical abuse as well as persistent gossiping about a coworker. There is even a saying, “Nurses eat their young,” which is well known in the medical community.
When I first heard that lateral violence was an issue, I thought of the 7 years I spent at a subcontractor’s office. I remember training a woman who was going to replace me while I was out for maternity leave. She broke into tears when someone was a little rude to her. Though I thought she’d be great for the job, I told her if her feelings were hurt by something like that, then it would only get worse from there. She left that day never to be seen again and 14 more people flowed through that position until I finally returned.
I have a theory about workplace bullying that is eerily similar to my views on prison life: take out the biggest jerk on the first day to earn their respect and no one will bother you again. If you can’t take them out, then become their friend.
For some reason, I’m naturally pulled towards “assertive” individuals. There is an honesty about them that I can’t resist. For instance, you never have to worry about walking around with lettuce in your teeth because these people have no compunction about letting you know. I appreciate nice people too, but if they are too nice, you can forget about putting them in charge of the office and you can never trust their opinion on clothing.
This brings me back to my sister.
I’m not worried about her having an issue with lateral violence because, as the older sister, I have trained her well throughout her life in preparation for the possibility of workplace bullying. I may not have realized it while I was crushing her spirit when she was younger, but I now know that she has me to thank for her toughness. I’ll go ahead and say a preemptive “You’re welcome” in case she is too overcome with emotion to thank me herself.
Though I can still make her cry at will, my sister is one of the strongest people I know. She has had 2 years of personal adversity and overwhelming disappointment to overcome in addition to attending nursing school. She is a survivor; an inspiration.
I love you, Meredith. Congratulations to you and the rest of SFCC’s 2011 graduate nurses for completing such a challenging endeavor. You’re all on your way to better days.
If some mean nurse tries to figuratively eat any of you, be sure to make them choke on the way down!
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