Animal sitting is not cut out for just anyone. There are two qualifications that absolutely must be met: (1) the potential critter sitter must be a wonderful, generous person; and (2) said sitter has no plans to leave town for a while. A third prerequisite is that this person has to be a die-hard lover of animals, but that is more of a guideline than a hard-wired rule.
Seeing as how I fulfilled the first two requirements, I recently got stuck with quadruple animal duties.
First, my friend, Michele, was heading down to the Keys for the 4th of July weekend and needed my help with her rabbit, Twitch, and teacup pot-bellied pig, Chops. “Teacup” is a relative term when dealing with swine, because this sucker is close to 60 pounds. I gave Chops and Twitch evening feedings at her house because a pig in my backyard was not going to fly with my husband or our dog.
Then, my sister, Meredith, left for a week’s stay in Miami on the Friday before Independence Day. I had to check her mail and make sure her cat didn’t dehydrate or starve. Cats are so easy, really. I’d have a cat myself if I weren’t highly allergic to them.
Lucky for me, her Shepard-mix canine, Haze, was going to enjoy a visit with a friend of Meredith’s who has two other pooches. I was set up as “Plan B” in case Haze didn’t jive with those other dogs. Little did we know the nefarious plot that was being hatched inside the intestinal tract of this mongrel.
Meredith left on a Friday and Haze made it all the way to Wednesday before the nastiness occurred. My belief is that the dog ate something that totally disagreed with her internal constitution, because on Tuesday night, she managed to come down with a case of explosive diarrhea.
Shepard-sized feces is bad enough all on its own, but the fact that Meredith’s friend has white carpet and white furniture just added to it. Haze’s homage to Jackson Pollock was inadvertently tracked from the contamination zone throughout the rest of the house which resulted in a midnight steam cleaning.
Wednesday morning, I picked up Haze, who still looked guilty, and transported her to my own backyard thinking the worst that could happen would be a little extra fertilizer for my dying grass.
Never challenge Fate when it comes to things having the capability of rapid deterioration.
My family loves to cool off in our 12 foot vinyl pool. Apparently, Haze saw our poor pool as a giant chew toy because that is exactly what she did to it on Wednesday evening. She also shredded a water noodle, but we weren’t sentimentally attached to that particular item.
I glared at Haze with murder in my eyes and told her that I hoped she was happy. She cocked her head to the side with that look dogs give when they’re playing dumb. Our own dog acted like she was above that type of juvenile canine shenanigans.
As for Michele’s beasts, Chops has an affinity for using his pool as a toilet and Twitch managed to escape her cage. My kids and I had to corral and catch her which was pretty hard to do considering how out of shape I am. My son found it hysterical watching me lumber around Michele’s backyard.
I finished my critter sitter sentence on Friday morning when I happily placed Haze in my sister’s living room. Haze and the cat were in the midst of an emotional reunion when I locked the dead bolt and drove away. I’m going to try and fill up my schedule a little better next year.
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